Thursday, September 08, 2022


15 Years | On The Creek Blog //
Our 15th wedding anniversary.

Today was our 15th wedding anniversary.

We were one of those cutesy couples who got married on 09.08.07.

I spent the day keeping myself busy, so I wouldn't have to think about our anniversary so much. Of course, it didn't work.

I can't help but wonder where we would be if James was still here.

Our "honeymoon" was an overnight trip to a small town in Maryland & we always talked about going back there. I wonder if this would have been the year. I remember we ate at this beautiful Italian restaurant in town.

Instead, I spent the day hiding from the fact that my life would never be the same. That the marriage & life James & I worked to build is gone.

Wednesday, September 07, 2022



Love What Matters | On The Creek Blog //

Details on our story that was published on Love What Matters.

I was surprised to receive a DM last week from Amanda at Love What Matters, inviting me to share our story.

Writing it all down again brought a lot of emotions back up. It's weird because I write about James & our journey all the time. I've become desensitized to a lot of what happened. I was surprised when the article contained a trigger warning. Maybe I'm still not far away from everything enough to see how terrible it was.

It will forever be one of those things I can't believe we went through. I can't believe how we all stayed calm through it all.

Until the night of the ER visit, I had only broken down once. Even when things looked terrible, there was always some glimmer of hope. We lived in a fantasyland where every red flag was ignored because there was yet another treatment. Though the diagnosis became terminal, options were still explored to prolong James's life.

Sometimes, all the medical interventions can't change the outcome.

There was so much more I could have written in the article. The amount of trauma packed into those 7 months is beyond measure. I never wanted to be someone who went through something traumatic.

Love What Matters | On The Creek Blog //

Tuesday, September 06, 2022



Tony | On The Creek Blog //
Remembering our sweet dog, Tony.

Our little Tony YorkiePoo passed away over the weekend.

He was 13 years old.

He came to us as a little fluff with a huge attitude & stayed that way his entire life.

He loved his squeaky toy & barking at the vacuum. Cleaning won't be the same without him!

Say hi to James & Rain for me.

Saturday, September 03, 2022

The day my world fell apart | On The Creek Blog //
The funny thing about life is that no one tells you what day your world starts falling apart.

I was going through some pictures on my phone when I came across this one. I didn't know it then, but my world was beginning to unravel.

September 3, 2021.

I don't know why I took this selfie. I'm guessing it was because the day was supposed to be full of excitement. James was doing testing in preparation for a clinical trial. We spent all day at the hospital, going back and forth between buildings, doing all the tests necessary to qualify James for the trial.

I was on my phone the entire time, looking at the test results. Everything came back fantastic.

The last day's test was an ultrasound of where James's tumor had been removed.

I remember anxiously waiting for the results on the ride home when they finally came through. Test results are challenging to decipher, but something about it didn't seem right.

Then, James got a call.

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