The first Valentine's Day without my husband.
This is my first Valentine's Day without James.
I wasn't even going to post today because there is already so much grief over here & today adds on even more grief. I thought I would be okay but my son brought home a special Valentine's Day card for me on Friday.
On the outside it looks happy, but the message inside is a clear reminder of our loss:
You are a great mom. I still wish James was here but we can still have a good Valentine's Day.
I wish James was here too. As a family we pull it together on most days but the sadness is always just under the surface. We're two months into this thing & still have a lot of healing to do.
Because my birthday & Valentine's Day are so close together, James would try to take a few vacation days off from work. I loved our little mini staycations. It's something I'm really going to miss. I think it's the little things I miss the most. The things I took for granted, like James taking a vacation day in the middle of the week. I've been on Facebook a little today & have seen all the happy couples posting for Valentine's Day. While I'm happy for them, there's a bit of envy there.
I'm sure I'll find happiness again somewhere but nothing will ever be the same again.
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