Monday, September 30, 2024

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Awareness ribbon symbolizing support for domestic violence and sexual assault survivors. | on the creek blog // www.onthecreekblog.com


Last week, a tragedy struck close to home when a friend's sister was tragically murdered by her partner. This heartbreaking event has compelled me to address a topic that often remains veiled behind the facades of normalcy and smiles—domestic violence.

Domestic violence, or intimate partner violence, affects millions, cutting across age, race, gender, and socioeconomic status. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), on average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. This equates to more than 10 million men and women over the course of a year.


The Complexity of Domestic Violence

The suggestion that victims should "just leave" the relationship oversimplifies the profound and complex dynamics involved in domestic violence. It often comes from those fortunate enough never to have experienced such terror. The truth is that escaping an abusive relationship is not just a matter of walking out the door. Factors such as fear, financial dependency, social stigma, isolation, and even love can profoundly impact a victim's ability to leave.


From my own experience in a toxic relationship during high school, I can testify to the confusion and despair it breeds. How can someone who claims to love you also inflict such pain? Abuse is insidious, creeping into the relationship slowly, making it difficult for victims to recognize and respond to the escalating danger.


The hidden turmoil of domestic violence | on the creek blog // www.onthecreekblog.com



The Cycle of Abuse

The pattern of domestic violence often follows a cycle. Initially, tension builds, leading to an incident of abuse, which may then be followed by a period of remorse and a deceitful, calm phase, often referred to as the 'honeymoon period.' This cycle makes leaving difficult, as hope for change can be desperately convincing.


Victims stay for myriad reasons: fear of further violence, concern for children, financial dependency, or the hope that their partner will change. Critically, emotional attachment and loyalty should not be underestimated. It is not uncommon for victims to feel responsible for their partner's actions, blaming themselves due to the psychological manipulation by the abuser.


Breaking the Silence

Creating a supportive environment where victims can speak out without fear of judgment or retribution is not just important; it's essential. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, it's crucial to seek help. Organizations like the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE (7233) & thehotline.org) offer confidential support and resources.


Domestic violence should never be a private issue. It's a societal problem that demands public attention and collective action. We can make a difference by educating ourselves and others, advocating for stronger protections, and supporting victims. Remember, what appears as a fairytale facade can often be a living nightmare. Let's commit to being allies who lift the veil on these hidden turmoils.

Thursday, September 12, 2024

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Hey Besties! 🌟

August was a monumental month for me as I dove headfirst into the world of audiobooks, consuming a whopping 21 titles! I've found audiobooks to be a fantastic way to multitask while indulging in my love for stories. Here's a glimpse into my month-long auditory adventure and why I think you might want to listen to some of these books.

Why I Chose Audiobooks

With a busy lifestyle, sitting down with a physical book can be a challenge, so audiobooks have become my go-to. They allow me to enjoy books while gardening, renovating, or even during my thrift store hunts. This month, my selections were largely inspired by Reese's Book Club and trending titles on the Libby app. It's like having a conversation with the characters and authors themselves, making mundane tasks so much more enjoyable.

Top Picks from August

Here’s a list of the books that kept me company, with my top favorites marked with an asterisk (*). Whether you're looking for inspiration, a gripping mystery, or a transformative self-help book, there's something here for everyone:

Why These Books?

The starred books are ones that particularly resonated with me, either due to their compelling narrative and transformative messages or simply because they were a joy to listen to. From the darkly humorous and painfully honest memoir of Jennette McCurdy to the intricate mysteries by Lisa Jewell, these books have added immense value and perspective to my daily routines.


Dive Into Audiobooks

If you're considering diving into audiobooks or looking for your next great listen, consider starting with one of my August favorites. You might find yourself as hooked as I am! Pause, rewind, or fast forward; audiobooks allow you to consume stories your way. Happy listening!

Sunday, September 08, 2024

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Today marks what would have been our 17th wedding anniversary. Nearly three years have passed since James left us, and the journey of healing has been profound and, at times, deeply painful. Anniversaries like today bring a blend of nostalgia and sorrow, reminding me of what was and what could have been.

Had James been here, I imagine we would have spent this weekend much as we used to—tinkering around our home or taking one of our spontaneous road trips to quaint, out-of-the-way places. These simple joys are memories now, shadows of a past life that I cherish yet mourn for its passing.

Grief has reshaped me fundamentally. From a person who once could barely manage to drive without trembling hands, I have transformed. A few months ago, I embarked on my first solo overnight trip, an hour's drive from home. I've learned to shop alone, dine alone, and find solace in my solitude. Independence has become my new norm, so much so that I sometimes wonder if it's as much a burden as it is a strength.

Reflecting on the past, I miss the version of myself who was blissfully unaware of the havoc that cancer can wreak. Before James's illness, cancer was something that, though familiar, seemed distant—something that could be battled and bested with treatment and persistence. We were optimistic, armed with hope and the belief in modern medicine. But our reality was a brief fight, a fleeting victory before life as we knew it derailed into something unrecognizable.

On this poignant day, I mourn not only my beloved husband but also the woman I once was. I grieve for the life we built together, the future we dreamed of, and the stark reality of what is. Today, I am both a remnant of that past life and a testament to surviving and evolving from it.

As I continue to navigate this landscape of loss and self-discovery, I share these reflections not to dwell on the sorrow but to embrace the full spectrum of my journey. It's a reminder that while life can change in the blink of an eye, our capacity to adapt and grow is immense. On this anniversary, I honor both the love and the pain, acknowledging how both have sculpted the person I am today.
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