I was surprised to receive a DM last week from Amanda at Love What Matters, inviting me to share our story.

Writing it all down again brought a lot of emotions back up. It's weird because I write about James & our journey all the time. I've become desensitized to a lot of what happened. I was surprised when the article contained a trigger warning. Maybe I'm still not far away from everything enough to see how terrible it was.

It will forever be one of those things I can't believe we went through. I can't believe how we all stayed calm through it all.

Until the night of the ER visit, I had only broken down once. Even when things looked terrible, there was always some glimmer of hope. We lived in a fantasyland where every red flag was ignored because there was yet another treatment. Though the diagnosis became terminal, options were still explored to prolong James's life.

Sometimes, all the medical interventions can't change the outcome.

There was so much more I could have written in the article. The amount of trauma packed into those 7 months is beyond measure. I never wanted to be someone who went through something traumatic.