Opting Out of the Holiday Hustle

Why I’m done people-pleasing my way through the season

Before my husband died, I was that person.

The one trying to make everyone else happy, showing up to every gathering, baking the cookies no one asked for, saying yes when I was already running on fumes.

I thought the holidays were about doing it all.

Now I know they’re about doing what actually matters.

🎁 The Shift That Changed Everything

After James passed, everything about the holidays felt different.

The traditions we built together suddenly had an empty chair in the middle of them. The lights, the music, even the smell of pine, all hurt.

So one year, I just… stopped.

I opted out.

I didn’t decorate.

I didn’t go to every dinner.

I didn’t force myself to be festive.

I just gave myself permission to not perform joy.

And the world didn’t fall apart.

In fact, it started to make sense again.

🕯️ What “Opting Out” Really Means

Opting out doesn’t mean you hate the holidays.

It means you’re done pretending.

It’s choosing presence over pressure.

It’s saying, “Not this year,” to things that drain you and “Maybe next time,” to traditions that no longer fit.

It’s celebrating in ways that feel authentic — even if that means lighting one candle and calling it a day.

🌙 The Freedom in Letting Go

When I stopped doing things out of obligation, I found something beautiful: peace.

I started noticing small joys again: quiet mornings, a single cup of coffee, the smell of something baking because I wanted to, not because it was expected.

I stopped measuring the holidays by how “merry” they looked and started measuring them by how calm I felt.

And maybe that’s what the holidays were supposed to be all along.

🫶 Give Yourself Permission This Year

If this season feels heavy, skip the party.

If decorating feels like a chore, don’t.

If you’d rather spend the day in pajamas than at a table full of people, do it.

Traditions can be rewritten.

And sometimes, the most healing thing you can do is step away from the noise until it feels safe to come back.

You’re allowed to celebrate softly, quietly, or not at all.

🎄 The Heart of It

This year, I’m choosing peace over perfection.

Presence over pressure.

And meaning over maintenance.

Maybe next year I’ll go all out again.

Or maybe I won’t.

Either way, I’ll be okay.

Because opting out isn’t giving up.

It’s choosing yourself.