Hello 2022

 Hello 2022.

I have tried to write this post several times but the words don't seem quite right.

My life doesn't seem quite right.

This year was supposed to be a time of great joy for our family but cancer took that away from us.  We had so many plans & reasons to look forward to the future.  When we officially found out James had cancer in July 2021, it was devastating.  It was one of those things I never thought in a million years would happen to us.

I knew cancer would change our lives forever but I didn't know things would escalate this quickly.

On New Year's Day 2007, James & I spent some time dreaming at the property I own.  That year, we made our first home there & built the property from the ground up.  When the opportunity came to purchase our current home in 2015 we put it back together again.  It was a foreclosure that needed a lot of work & James spent 7 months getting it just right.

So much of who I am is because of this life we built together.  

This blog covers our time in our current house & we accomplished a lot in 6 years.  We learned to work together on projects.  James knew how to turn my project ideas into a reality.  I always made the joke that he went to carpentry school so he could build the things I found on Pinterest.  He was always the first one to bring out his phone & show other people what we made.

As I go into the new year, I don't know what to do with myself.  I'm mourning the loss of my partner & the loss of myself.  This year will definitely be about finding myself in the chaos of this new situation I'm in.

The last couple of years have been absolutely terrible for me.  I didn't know I could pack so many low moments into such a short amount of time.  The only highlight was the adoption of our son, which we were able to celebrate for just 10 days until James passed away.  All I want this year is peace.

I will still be blogging in 2022 but things will most likely be different.  I'm going to try to focus on simple projects that I can do myself.  I'm also going to mix in projects that I can do with our son.

I'm not sure where this year is going to take me but I'm looking forward to sharing my new adventures on the blog.

The pictures in this post are from a nature walk we took in 2019.  Taking nature walks was one of the things James & I enjoyed doing together.